At some point in our Bariatric After Life™, we learn that our goal is to stop being defined by our surgery and start living life. And yet, we can never forget that we had surgery, because we don’t want to return to our old habits. I’ll admit, this concept has really tripped me up, because I spend my days reading, writing and talking about bariatrics!

How, on earth, do I stop thinking about food, when all I think about is food? Throw in a food addiction and, by all rights, I should have a barrel of monkeys on my hands. Only…I don’t.

How can that be?

Well, in the past few months, I’ve had the strangest feeling wash over me. It’s something akin to “normalcy” – or, as normal as a surgically-altered person can be – and then, not quite normal at all. If I had to define it for you, I believe I would call it: PEACE. Yes, that is it. I am at PEACE within my body. The warring factions have laid down their weapons of mass disruption, and I am now living life on life’s terms. Not to confuse PEACE, with PERFECTION, or CALMNESS — because neither of those things comes even remotely close.

To be clear, what I am feeling is a reunification or reassociation with my SELF. I have been torn apart for so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to actually BE ME — if I ever really knew at all.

Thanks to therapy and the support of good friends, I now know what it’s like (at least as far as anyone can determine) to be ME: It’s crazy, fast-paced, gung-ho, exciting, outrageous, magical, frustrating, disconcerting, energizing, exhausting, invigorating, maddening, brilliant, radical, awesome, mellow, unlimited, liberating, compassionate, honest and everything in between. It’s like a zoo and a circus and a day at Disneyland, all rolled into one.

For the first time in – probably EVER – I am at home in my own skin, and I like the way it feels. I know what makes me happy, and I know what frustrates me. I know what triggers a binge, and I know what recovery feels like. I know what being fit does for my emotions, and I know what being sick does to my heart. I am in touch with myself and…I like me.

Guess what? I am not really about food at all. At least not today. Or yesterday. Maybe I will be tomorrow, I don’t know. One thing I do know is, I am hard-pressed to find someone who is not struggling to maintain (or lose) their weight (whether they’ve had surgery or not); I am hard-pressed to find someone who does not think they *could* workout at least one more day a week (whether they have had surgery or not), and I am hard-pressed to find a person who doesn’t wish they hadn’t eaten a certain food today (whether they have had surgery or not). So, you see…I’m really NOT that different from anybody else, and yet…I am.

How? I surround myself by like-minded, successful post-ops. I get filled up daily by reading inspirational blogs, hearing from my Facebook and Twitter friends, and just chatting it up with healthy, balanced folks. Like me I remain a staunch advocate for the disease of obesity, and I speak to whoever will listen.

If you were to take away one thing from this message, it would be this: The further away from my surgery, the more normal I feel. It’s like swimming away from the shore. I can’t touch the bottom with my toes anymore, but I’m not freaking out; I’m actually wondering what’s beyond that next wave. I never thought that could happen….

Have you ever experienced this?

Hello World!

Welcome to your new life –  The Bariatric After Life™

Don’t worry if you haven’t had bariatric surgery (or haven’t decided whether you even WANT to have it), you are welcome here.

Let me begin by explaining what, exactly the Bariatric After Life is.

No, it’s not life-after-death, though many who have had WLS (weight loss surgery) feel like they have died and been born again into a new body), but that’s not really my message.

I think it’s best for me to go back to the beginning: It was December 2007, and I weighed 316 pounds. Well, actually, I’d shed 50 pounds since beginning the approval process in June of 2007, but even at 267 pounds, I was morbidly obese and I was being given the gift of gastric bypass surgery. At the time, I wasn’t sure that I’d made the right decision, and even had a few days where I wanted to “return the gift for a full-refund,” but, in the end, I came to love the miracle I’d received and promised myself I’d do everything in my power to deserve and do it justice.

I quickly realized that life after bariatric surgery was going to be much, much more than a picture in a frame with the word “after” prominently emblazoned on it, but I didn’t know exactly HOW much.

What would life hold for me “after the after”? I wondered…

Prior to surgery, I spent hours and hours, pouring over “Before & After” photos. I must have viewed at least 2,000 sets of pictures – many of them, showing unrecognizable people in the “After” frame. The changes were exciting and startling. I found myself dreaming about my own “after”.

How would I “look,” I wondered? Would people know that I was the same person in both pictures? Would the changes be that significant? How long would it take to get there? What would “there” look like? What if I didn’t lose as much as I wanted to lose?

The questions were endless, but I was undaunted.

Once I had surgery, I was so focused on the ins and outs, dos and don’ts, etc., that I sort of lost track of the “After” picture for awhile….that is, until that magical day, about 14 months after surgery, when I realized that I was finally an “AFTER”…It was unreal! I finally had something to put in that “other frame!” Wow!

And then….

Now what?

Let’s see…for 14 months, I’d lived and breathed bariatric EVERYTHING. I kept my head down and focused on the goal (whatever that was). One, by one, I blew past intermediate goals until, eventually, I blew past my “goal-goal”…And there I was: Looking like a normal person, but not feeling normal in any way, shape or form. Why hadn’t someone warned me that this day would come? Why didn’t someone tell me about life “after the after”?

Perhaps they didn’t think about it, or perhaps they WERE telling me, but I just wasn’t listening. I can’t be sure, but he way I see it now, much like when I was a kid who couldn’t wait to be 13 (so I could be a teenager) or 16 (so I could drive) or 18 (so no one could *tell me what to do anymore* – LOL), or 21 (so I could drink), I’d simply forgotten to plan my life AFTER life.

My initial idea was to play it by ear, just let it come as it would. I’d done research, and plugged into online WLS communities. I attended weekly support group meetings and life was good. But, there was more to it. I felt a calling; a burning in my “bariatric belly” to do *something* more with my life.

In June of 2009, I officially became Gastric Bypass Barbie and began blogging about my experiences (emotional, physical, and otherwise) for the entire WLS community to behold. In February of 2010, I attended the 1st Annual WLS Meet N Greet in Las Vegas, setting up a booth with sample products and even talking to the group about feeling great in your jeans! In March 2010, I threw the switch on my Facebook page and Youtube Channel, bringing myself to a larger audience, in a fun and different way. In May, I attended my first Obesity Help Conference (in Costa Mesa, California), then ASMBS in Las Vegas, then another OH Conference (in Cincinnati), all the while, speaking with medical professionals and vendors who support our “growing community of shrinking people!™”

I was hooked and there was no turning back.

Clearly, I’d learned that my true mission in life is to spread the bariatric word; to inspire, motivate and educate everyone who has had or is considering having bariatric surgery, so they can live a rewarding, fulfilled, successful Bariatric After Life.

Not a minor undertaking, I assure you, but so worthwhile, it’s hard to believe my good fortune some days!

All of which brings me to today. I am a successful and happy (dare I say NORMAL?) bariatric patient, maintaining a healthy 160-pound weight loss, ready to open a new chapter of a book I’m calling the BARIATRIC AFTER LIFE.

I’m bidding a fond (and slightly sad) farewell to Barbie, but not her essence. After all, SHE has always been ME, and now I am going to be your guide in the Bariatric After Life — that is, if you’re willing to follow!

So, come along as I continue to explore the ups and downs, ins and outs, loves and losses, joys and sorrows of this post-bariatric surgical life, and more. Feel free share your own experience, because a journey is more fulfilling if its not traveled alone!