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Carpe Diem: Seize the Someday

I originally wrote this for Gastric Bypass Barbie (my first blog)  in July of 2009. You know what? I still feel the same way…even 2-1/2 years later. I hope you will enjoy this little chapter from the past — and actually seize your day…every day. – Cari

Someday is Not A Day of the Week.
Someday Does Not Appear On Any Calendar.

I remember an old email that went around a few years back. I think it apropos to reprint here:

If I had My Life to Live Over
By the late Erma Bombeck

If I had my life to live over,

  • I would have talked less and listened more.
  • I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
  • I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
  • I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
  • I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
  • I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
  • I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
  • I would have cried and laughed less while watching television – and more while watching life.
  • I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
  • I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
  • I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
  • Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
  • When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
  • There would have been more “I love you’s”.. More “I’m sorrys” …
  • But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it … live it…and never give it back.

One of the lines I remembered most from Erma’s essay was the part about the pink sculpted candle shaped like a rose. That resonated so strongly with me at the time, because I was guilty of leaving my candles unburned. Why did I ever buy a candle if I didn’t intend to burn it? Was I waiting for a special occasion (or was I waiting for hell to freeze over?) Who knows?

One thing’s for sure, though – after reading Erma’s message, I started burning my candles (all over the furniture, and onto my good doily, thank you very much!) But, what fun I had smelling the wonderful fragrances, and basking by the soft glow with the lights turned off. After all, candles are made for burning.

So, how does this apply to WLS? Well, if you will indulge me a bit, I’m going to take a stab at rewriting Erma’s message to fit our new lives.

I Will Live the “Bariatric After Life™”
(Before I Join the After Life)

Before I leave this life to join the next, there are a few things I need to do. Since there’s no time like the present, AND, since “Someday” isn’t a day at all, I intend to begin now (and even repeat the things I like the best.)

TODAY:

  • I will not wait until my thighs stop jiggling to put on a bathing suit and go to the beach.
  • I will not beat myself up when I don’t get enough protein in one day, or eat too many carbs another.
  • I will go for a long ride on my bike, and not be afraid that I won’t make it back home. The journey is what matters most; not the destination.
  • I will stop calling attention to the clavicle bones that are jutting out of my shoulders, and will, instead, celebrate them with a cute sleeveless top.
  • I will not wait until my legs are tan enough to wear those cute crop pants without panty hose.
  • I will not insist that we turn the lights off so my hubby won’t see my shrinkly belly.
  • I will laugh heartily and with great gusto when my body jiggles in ways it never did before.
  • I will allow my family to “lay on the good pillows” when they are on the couch, and stop worrying that they will flatten them out. (Maybe I will have to work on this one a little bit…I really like those pillows!)
  • I will stop worrying about the dust on the fan blades in the bedrooms. If I dust them once a month, that should be good enough for anyone!
  • I will stop beating myself up because I can’t do that silly ab-machine at the gym (You know, the one where you lay down with your arms on the bars and then sit up while your back is entirely supported? I get horribly dizzy…)
  • I will hug my daughter tightly and non-judgmentally and not feel responsible for her obesity.
  • I will respond lovingly to my mom when she laments that she wishes I could “eat normally again.” I know that she loves me and wants me to be happy.
  • I will spend less time weighing and more time playing
  • I will stop measuring myself up against others to insure I am “no longer the fattest person in the room.”
  • I will quit obsessing over whether Catherine Heigl really wears a size 6 or not.
  • I will ride a horse on the beach next time I am in Mexico, and not worry that the horse will “break” under the weight of my butt.
  • I will stop worrying that my bra gives me little bulges on my back.
  • I will never utter the words “does this make my butt look too small” again! – By the way, Victoria’s Secret “But Lift” jeans with “engineered lifting panels” do not work.
  • I will not feel compelled to preach the WLS gospel to every big person I see. They will come to it in their own time.
  • I will stop wishing I had done the surgery sooner, and be thankful I didn’t do it later.
  • I will no longer beat myself up because I cannot run. I can do many other things that I never could before – running just isn’t one of them.
  • I will stop criticizing myself because I cannot ride my bike 100 miles in one day (for now).
  • I will not get upset when someone does not like my advice (even if they asked for it.)
  • I will thank God I am able to get out of bed every morning (without feeling like I was run over by a truck), and not complain about the ungodly hour!
  • I will not complain that I must measure my food, and will be thankful that I have food to measure!
  • I will relish flying for business trips (even back to China) because I now have plenty of space between me and the chair and me and the person next to me!
  • I will not take it personally when someone says I took the “easy way out” by having weight loss surgery.
  • I will jump in FRONT of the camera (rather than behind it) when someone wants to snap a picture of me.
  • I will send out Christmas cards with a FAMILY PHOTO on them.
  • I will make plans with high school and junior high school friends, and not worry that they will see my shrinkles (or wrinkles!)

And, with an appreciative nod to Dead Poet’s Society:

  • I will suck the marrow out of life and not choke on the bone.
  • I will sound my barbaric “yawp” over the rooftops of the world.
  • I will live my life to the fullest, with each new breath, because, when that day finally comes, I want to find that I have lived deliberately and not discover that I have not lived at all.
  • I will seize the day (Carpe Diem!)

I don’t know about you, but I waited 40 years for someday (which never came).
The last 2 years have been filled with amazing days, and I don’t intend to slow down anytime soon.

Are you waiting for someday to happen, or is today the day?

What SOMEDAYS are you making TO-DAYS?

8 comments

1 Nikkie { 03.22.12 at 5:02 am }

Great advice! Right on! 0:-*

2 bariatricafterlife { 03.22.12 at 5:00 pm }

It's even better when followed. 🙂 Thanks, ma :-*

3 Sine { 03.07.13 at 6:53 am }

This just made me cry. A total epiphany moment. I've had way too many things marked for "someday" and it's time to live. Thanks Cari.

4 bariatricafterlife { 03.07.13 at 2:13 pm }

Good girl! Seize the thighs — let's live!

5 SINE { 03.07.13 at 8:22 pm }

Seize the thighs!!!???? ROFL!!!!! Ok I’ll seize the thighs HAHAHA

6 bariatricafterlife { 03.07.13 at 8:39 pm }

😉

7 CarolNikkie { 07.17.15 at 2:22 pm }

This is wonderful, still! I love you and am VERY proud of you! Carpe Diem, Babe!

8 bariatricafterlife { 07.17.15 at 2:48 pm }

Thanks, Mom! I hope you Carpe YOUR Diem!

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